Nurse Patrick Preston (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sexyinscrubs) wrote2008-12-11 09:31 pm
sexyinscrubs) wrote2008-12-11 09:31 pm
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muse_shuffle | Greatest Hits December
Track 19. Don’t want to lose it // it must be worth losing // if it is worth something
(Tori Amos – ‘Talula’)
Co-written with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
drcampbell
[Follows THIS]
Lachlan tucked the IV pole into the crook of his elbow and carefully eased himself off the hospital bed. His legs felt a little weak and shaky from being so ill in the preceding days, but at least he was back on his feet. Not that it mattered extensively. It wasn’t like he was going to get laid this century or anything. He shoved is box of Kleenex under his other arm and shuffled his way to the other side of the room. Pat was curled up on the second bed in the room, blankets pulled right up to his chin, with zero attempt being made to wipe away the steady stream of tears falling and wetting his pillow. Lachlan took residence in the closet chair to Pat and offered the box of tissues. “You dinnae need to hide, buddy. Also, if you want to be alone, sorry. I’m nay getting back off my arse just yet. You’re stuck with me for a wee while,” he said. “I’m nay quite the blond you’re probably wanting here, but I’m a good second, aye?”
Pat took a couple of the tissues and wiped his eyes. “You don’t look to have any competition right now,” he pointed out, sounding flat and listless around the slow words.
“He’ll come back, Patto,” Lachlan assured him. “Tara came back to me, aye? I fucking told her I dindnae love her anymore and she still came back. You were upset and frustrated. It’s just one of those things.”
“It wasn’t Aiden I was angry at,” Pat said tearfully. “It was me. I was angry at myself and I didn’t want him to just see me as this weak heavy weight hanging around his shoulders and dragging him down. I just wanted things to be good for me for once. I wanted to be well and enjoy him, you know? He was already so down on himself about whether he could handle all this or not and now I’ve just gone and made it a hundred times worse for him. I don’t blame him for walking out.”
Lachlan leaned forward as he listened to Pat. “Did you mean what you said? About knowing you can trust everyone, but not him?”
Pat closed his eyes. “No,” he murmured. “Not like that. I was just scared that as it gets worse, he’s not going to want to deal with this. He doesn’t have to deal with it and can go whenever he wants. But just thinking about him leaving hurts. I don’t want to lose him when I’ve barely just found him. I don’t feel like we’ve had enough time.”
“He doesnae want to go, buddy,” Lachlan told him gently. “He thinks you want him to. I think he’s ready to grab both balls in his hands and do this, Patto. He just needs more time to adjust, and aye, he might fall flat on his face a few times while he’s learning to care for you, but we all did. Nay any of us knew what best we should do for you in the start. We just winged it. How many times did you tear me a new one, huh? You were so angry and upset back then, but we didnae stop loving you. How could we?”
“But you didn’t walk away!” Pat cried, shifting over on to his back and feeling the tears trickle down towards his ears.
Lachlan was quiet for a few moment. “Aye, I did. Quite a few times, actually. You were just too sick to realise much of what was going on beyond your own body. Your mind wasnae too well, but I did. You told me you hated me and accused me of being a shite friend. I knew it was just the illness talking, but I didnae think you wanted me around anymore. It was Tara who told me to hang on and grow a pair. So, I just kept going back to you every day until I could start seeing glimpses of the old you again.”
Pat turned his head and looked at Lachlan sadly. “I’m a fucking bastard,” he said in a tiny voice. “You have never, in all the years I’ve known you, been a shite friend. You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”
Lachlan took Pat’s hand and squeezed it. “Likewise, buddy. That’s what you need to remember. I have nearly two decades up on Aiden of dealing with your prissy queen arse. He needs some time, Patto. Let him try, let him fucking fail, but let him get back on the horse and keep trying even then, aye? It’s nay going to be hearts and flowers. Look at Tara and me. Our hearts and flowers got pounded into a bloody mess at the entrance of PPTH a year ago. But it’s all been fucking worth it.”
Pat gripped Lachlan’s hand, holding it tightly. He was trying to fight more tears as the memory of being told Lachlan had been shot washed over him. He didn’t say anything at first; he couldn’t. The emotion had choked him up. When he did speak, it was a restricted and strained whisper. “What do I do now? How do I fix this?” he pleaded.
“Wait. Let him come to you and when he does, dinnae push him away again,” Lachlan said, choking up himself. He stood up and carefully embraced his childhood friend. “Dinnae push any of us away.”
Aiden Lewis [mrpublicity] & Tara Brennan-Campbell [doctortara] referenced with permission
Word Count | 910
(Tori Amos – ‘Talula’)
Co-written with
drcampbell[Follows THIS]
Lachlan tucked the IV pole into the crook of his elbow and carefully eased himself off the hospital bed. His legs felt a little weak and shaky from being so ill in the preceding days, but at least he was back on his feet. Not that it mattered extensively. It wasn’t like he was going to get laid this century or anything. He shoved is box of Kleenex under his other arm and shuffled his way to the other side of the room. Pat was curled up on the second bed in the room, blankets pulled right up to his chin, with zero attempt being made to wipe away the steady stream of tears falling and wetting his pillow. Lachlan took residence in the closet chair to Pat and offered the box of tissues. “You dinnae need to hide, buddy. Also, if you want to be alone, sorry. I’m nay getting back off my arse just yet. You’re stuck with me for a wee while,” he said. “I’m nay quite the blond you’re probably wanting here, but I’m a good second, aye?”
Pat took a couple of the tissues and wiped his eyes. “You don’t look to have any competition right now,” he pointed out, sounding flat and listless around the slow words.
“He’ll come back, Patto,” Lachlan assured him. “Tara came back to me, aye? I fucking told her I dindnae love her anymore and she still came back. You were upset and frustrated. It’s just one of those things.”
“It wasn’t Aiden I was angry at,” Pat said tearfully. “It was me. I was angry at myself and I didn’t want him to just see me as this weak heavy weight hanging around his shoulders and dragging him down. I just wanted things to be good for me for once. I wanted to be well and enjoy him, you know? He was already so down on himself about whether he could handle all this or not and now I’ve just gone and made it a hundred times worse for him. I don’t blame him for walking out.”
Lachlan leaned forward as he listened to Pat. “Did you mean what you said? About knowing you can trust everyone, but not him?”
Pat closed his eyes. “No,” he murmured. “Not like that. I was just scared that as it gets worse, he’s not going to want to deal with this. He doesn’t have to deal with it and can go whenever he wants. But just thinking about him leaving hurts. I don’t want to lose him when I’ve barely just found him. I don’t feel like we’ve had enough time.”
“He doesnae want to go, buddy,” Lachlan told him gently. “He thinks you want him to. I think he’s ready to grab both balls in his hands and do this, Patto. He just needs more time to adjust, and aye, he might fall flat on his face a few times while he’s learning to care for you, but we all did. Nay any of us knew what best we should do for you in the start. We just winged it. How many times did you tear me a new one, huh? You were so angry and upset back then, but we didnae stop loving you. How could we?”
“But you didn’t walk away!” Pat cried, shifting over on to his back and feeling the tears trickle down towards his ears.
Lachlan was quiet for a few moment. “Aye, I did. Quite a few times, actually. You were just too sick to realise much of what was going on beyond your own body. Your mind wasnae too well, but I did. You told me you hated me and accused me of being a shite friend. I knew it was just the illness talking, but I didnae think you wanted me around anymore. It was Tara who told me to hang on and grow a pair. So, I just kept going back to you every day until I could start seeing glimpses of the old you again.”
Pat turned his head and looked at Lachlan sadly. “I’m a fucking bastard,” he said in a tiny voice. “You have never, in all the years I’ve known you, been a shite friend. You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”
Lachlan took Pat’s hand and squeezed it. “Likewise, buddy. That’s what you need to remember. I have nearly two decades up on Aiden of dealing with your prissy queen arse. He needs some time, Patto. Let him try, let him fucking fail, but let him get back on the horse and keep trying even then, aye? It’s nay going to be hearts and flowers. Look at Tara and me. Our hearts and flowers got pounded into a bloody mess at the entrance of PPTH a year ago. But it’s all been fucking worth it.”
Pat gripped Lachlan’s hand, holding it tightly. He was trying to fight more tears as the memory of being told Lachlan had been shot washed over him. He didn’t say anything at first; he couldn’t. The emotion had choked him up. When he did speak, it was a restricted and strained whisper. “What do I do now? How do I fix this?” he pleaded.
“Wait. Let him come to you and when he does, dinnae push him away again,” Lachlan said, choking up himself. He stood up and carefully embraced his childhood friend. “Dinnae push any of us away.”
Aiden Lewis [
mrpublicity] & Tara Brennan-Campbell [doctortara] referenced with permissionWord Count | 910